Remember how I promised myself I’d get my literary voice heard back in 2022? Leaving this here for easy recall.
Well, I didn’t.
In fact, I did much the opposite. I got myself entangled in a torrid love affair and got so consumed in it that I almost gave up writing. I let it overrun a lot of my life, and really went down a bit of a rabbit hole.
Thankfully, I survived to tell the tale. Albeit, in pieces. But here I am.
Here’s a bunch of things I’ve done since ending that relationship for good –
- Aged – No, this isn’t a pun – tch tch. I turned 30 last November, and I still feel very disturbed about it. But more on that later.
- Got myself a cajon – Couldn’t have picked a better second instrument to play. I’ve gotten rusty on the ukulele because my 9to5s no longer afford me any time to practise, which I’m trying to remedy parallelly. That said, I can’t begin to explain the sheer physical joy of drumming your sadness away.
- Fostered and adopted a stray kitten – She landed up injured at my doorstep, what was I to do? FINE, I could have let her go after nursing her, but she’d already gotten attached. So yes, Cheenti stayed.
- Painted a mural on the terrace of my natal home – As a statement piece, no less. After getting into an argument with a relative. (Moving back home has had its share of issues come to the fore.) It took a weathered door, a couple weekends, some paint and lots of anger.
- Attended Kolkata Pride – Funny how I’d never been around for this one before, but your girl finally got to attend Pride in her hometown – which flagged off from in front of her undergrad college, and a stone’s throw from her school. Can’t lie, felt queer.
- Sat with my grief – Felt waves and waves of grief just break on me, and learnt to make space for it. I realized there’s no further to run, and how I must stop. How I must acknowledge that it’s been difficult and it will be difficult. Remember the best I can, and forgive. Start at the very beginning and leave nothing out. Find the words to communicate it, and begin to share. (Took a lot of bourbon, several sleepless nights and a letter that overstayed its welcome – much like me, for the addressee, I suppose.)
- Published some poetry – Compiled a handful of the poems I’d written, of late, together in a neat draft, and did the rounds of publications seeking entries. Got rejected by one, and still to hear back from another, but The Punch Magazine was very kind to feature some. You’d think being published in the same magazine as Vikram Seth, Ruskin Bond and Cyrus Mistry would give me the push to finally put together that manuscript for the poetry chapbook I’ve been planning for years now. (It hasn’t yet. Please HMU if you’re an editor willing to read through scores of drivel. Note to Self – Unfriend Impostor Syndrome.)
Other not-so-noteworthy movements would be – finally DIY dyeing my hair red, making many spec ads (clearly, my adult copywriter hobby of choice) to get noticed by brands, and doubling up the weight I’d previously lift.
And of course, I pen this post in procrastination before getting started with another Copy Test. Gaaaaaah. Why-is-this-life-why? Anyhoo. Okaybye.
literaryfreaktion 