Category Archives: Poetry


pizza gone cold

bottle half drunk

(you didn’t show)

smoked the entire packet

swallowed down the hurt

     damnit heart,

why don’t you ever know?



May, 2018

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I smelt the rain

falling helter skelter

on dusty rooftops,

cobwebbed leaves

-leaving a trail

for my senses-

to explode.


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Abbreviate everything

Abbreviate your thoughts

your feelings

your desires

Abbreviate my existence

into full-stops and commas

into chat window pop-ups

where you type away


without so much as a glance

rhythmic punctuated motions

of your fingertips

injecting liveliness into

a conversation

long dead

I am here

all of me

flesh and blood.

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"Isn't it weird when cutters meet?"

                        -you turn to me; "Is it?"

I take another sip of my whiskey

                  and attempt nonchalance

You don't buy it

                  I don't look you in the eye

you begin to string words together

carefully chosen - taking time

                          then nod to yourself

and eat them all up

I tell you about my geometry box

You tell me about the razorsharp

falling out of your wallet every time

                               you look for change

          Neither of us are the type

          to trust in divine intervention

but perhaps you could mistake that

                                             for a sign?

I stopped cutting a long time ago

                 I tell you so much

I could tell you everything

You scratch your head

         and say you don't remember

                             when you stopped

                 that's okay

I still cut everyday

only these scars don't

       show on my skin.



(Written in August after meeting a kindred.)

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This Summer

This summer is different

I almost await its arrival

Anticipating its din to, drown

the chaos in my head.

I look longingly forward

to the season of new birth

wishing upon it to hasten

the renewal within.

This summer is different-

I pray the colours consume me,

consume the dark clouds of winter

I’ve kept company with.

As the evening breeze gently

lulls in after sunset,

I’ll learn to make peace with

my memories but not forget.


I am finally starting to feel somewhat normal after 6 months of continuous mindfuck. It’s the new set of medication. I have been prescribed three different sets of medication and had my diagnoses change thrice in this period. Definitely made me rethink the idea of finally walking into a shrink’s office and getting diagnosed. Maybe someday I will write in detail about the last few months, the spiralling, my diseases. For now, I am content in staggering back to life.

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I think too much, I am told

As I begin to edge past creeping sadness

A conversation over

Why people wear masks

for faces

beginning to get me low

Some days my thoughts

weigh so heavy

I can barely get out of bed

I can barely get out of my head

– Everything is monochrome –

Life is

how life is

how life is

Lotus, where are you?

Life like — an unalome.

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Dear young people of today,

I cannot keep up

with your constant beer drinking

ganja smoking

selfish sublimating

there are kids dying of hunger

a couple hundred feet from you

do the fuck something

                      get out of your own heads.
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Here we sit,
huddled side by side
halfway up the sky
watching the darkness of the dawn
fade into day
with nothing to say-



(Also, indomitable urge to run.)

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Broken things are broken

“Leave broken things alone.

Once broken they cannot be fixed..”

-I hear, while gathering scattered china-bone –


Toppled my teacup off the ‘sil

I wanted to see the rain

Trying to push the curtain aside

forgot to notice the window pane.


Untimely pieces scattered on the floor

I should have just let it be

Instead I picked up the pieces

& glued it carefully back

I guess, it reminded me

             ..  of me.


PS. Fell asleep with my headphones on last night. So, just like old times. But I think I finally made some progress today. After spending the entire morning second-guessing myself. I am beginning to grow very tired of this regression.

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