Category Archives: Poetry

Thoughtcloud

And I don't really know what love is

inspite of what I may say

But I know I'd hold you all night

if you asked me to

             if it kept your nightmares at bay.

No, I don't really know what love is

but I could help you build a blanket fort, without a doubt

You could slip in - when you think you've had enough

             drown everybody     else     out -

    Can anybody ever know what love is

or why we fall in love

                   with the people we do?

Love is a doing word - say the wisemen

I wonder how much of that is true ...



- All I really know

          is the one thing

Love just leaves me blue.
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Apropos

 

You’ve kissed so many faces
that you can’t tell affection from apathy anymore
and I don’t blame you
No, I don’t blame you
Instead, I blame myself
for not being able to convince you
that I’m not here till the season’s birds take flight
I’m not here
No, I’m not here
Only for the night.
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Positive Reinforcement

Get out of your head

Get out of your head

Get out of your head

I'm a thousand miles away

I can't get you off that bed

This idiot screen is not smart

if it were

                       you would know

that the words I type

       and send across

are not alphabets strung

 together in haste

they're a carefully considered

                 request

to not let the light in you

        go to waste.



                Get out of your head

I know it's getting colder

   with every passing day

Know, you're all the

warmth that you need

         The sun will shine

         And you'll be fine

I'll hold your hand if you're 

                                     afraid

I've spent a lot of winters too

                     deep within my mind

      Love, you've been so patient,

                           only a little more

I know this world can be unkind

     Dust yourself off

                   pull up your big girl pants

Don't care so much for what

                           "they" say

             I promise you

              tomorrow

          will be a better day.
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Stargazing

Only

     the softest kisses

                           for you

placed carefully

    along your body

          in a constellation

to guide you back

                            to me

          shall you want.
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Disastrous

pizza gone cold

bottle half drunk

(you didn’t show)

smoked the entire packet

swallowed down the hurt

     damnit heart,

why don’t you ever know?

 

 

May, 2018

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Petrichor

I smelt the rain

falling helter skelter

on dusty rooftops,

cobwebbed leaves

-leaving a trail

for my senses-

to explode.

Petrichor

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Abbreviations

Abbreviate everything

Abbreviate your thoughts

your feelings

your desires

Abbreviate my existence

into full-stops and commas

into chat window pop-ups

where you type away

acronyms

without so much as a glance

rhythmic punctuated motions

of your fingertips

injecting liveliness into

a conversation

long dead

                                                      Look away

I am here

all of me

flesh and blood.

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;

"Isn't it weird when cutters meet?"

                        -you turn to me; "Is it?"

I take another sip of my whiskey

                  and attempt nonchalance

You don't buy it

                  I don't look you in the eye

you begin to string words together

carefully chosen - taking time

                          then nod to yourself

and eat them all up

I tell you about my geometry box

You tell me about the razorsharp

falling out of your wallet every time

                               you look for change


          Neither of us are the type

          to trust in divine intervention

but perhaps you could mistake that

                                             for a sign?

I stopped cutting a long time ago

                 I tell you so much

I could tell you everything

You scratch your head

         and say you don't remember

                             when you stopped

                 that's okay

I still cut everyday

only these scars don't

       show on my skin.

 

 

(Written in August after meeting a kindred.)

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March

This Summer

This summer is different

I almost await its arrival

Anticipating its din to, drown

the chaos in my head.

I look longingly forward

to the season of new birth

wishing upon it to hasten

the renewal within.

This summer is different-

I pray the colours consume me,

consume the dark clouds of winter

I’ve kept company with.

As the evening breeze gently

lulls in after sunset,

I’ll learn to make peace with

my memories but not forget.

 

I am finally starting to feel somewhat normal after 6 months of continuous mindfuck. It’s the new set of medication. I have been prescribed three different sets of medication and had my diagnoses change thrice in this period. Definitely made me rethink the idea of finally walking into a shrink’s office and getting diagnosed. Maybe someday I will write in detail about the last few months, the spiralling, my diseases. For now, I am content in staggering back to life.

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Semi-colon

I think too much, I am told

As I begin to edge past creeping sadness

A conversation over

Why people wear masks

for faces

beginning to get me low

Some days my thoughts

weigh so heavy

I can barely get out of bed

I can barely get out of my head

– Everything is monochrome –

Life is

how life is

how life is

Lotus, where are you?

Life like — an unalome.

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